


The Sun is an Ordinary Star

by tsunderei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Angst, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 04:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12674520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsunderei/pseuds/tsunderei
Summary: Hinata has dated Kageyama Tobio, the famous young actor, for nine hectic but wonderful months. However, falling in love with someone so popular comes with a price. Soon they find themselves at a fork in the road: one path challenges them to actually try and make it work, while the other suggests they should give everything up in order to please Kageyama's fans.





	The Sun is an Ordinary Star

_This is nice._

That’s what Hinata had meant to say. Because this _is_ nice – the large cup of milky coffee nestled warmly between his palms, the early afternoon sun cutting in through the tall windows, the quiet lull that follows in the aftermath of the busy lunchtime hour. Their table is located in a secluded and quiet corner of the hotel café, discreetly arranged so by the hotel staff. Kageyama is sitting opposite him, and Kageyama is maybe the nicest thing about this entire scene. No, scratch that ‘maybe’. There’s no doubt whatsoever that he _is_ the nicest thing within a thousand mile radius, and just the word ‘nice’ is an understatement because he looks entirely perfect and beautiful even though he’s wearing a baseball cap that shrouds half his face in shadows. Hinata is so in love with him – and yet he’s reached a point where he struggles feeling good about it.

Kageyama has spent the last three months in Sapporo filming. His plane only landed this morning and Hinata had wanted to meet him at the airport but was strictly told not to. Kageyama’s managers, and maybe especially Kageyama himself, were of the opinion that having him there in the midst of the usual hoard of waiting fans would just create unnecessary fuss and delays. And Hinata kind of agrees. He knows he’s sometimes seen as a bit of an inconvenience and he’s okay with that, it’s something neither he nor Kageyama can help. That’s what happens when you start dating such a popular actor.

So instead he’d stayed at home in his tiny apartment and waited, like he knew he was supposed to. It had taken Kageyama two additional hours to call him, and when he finally did it was only to tell him that they wouldn’t be able to meet before Sunday, four days from now.

“But _why_?” Hinata had whined. “You’re supposed to be off-schedule! Why aren’t you available before Sunday? You _are_ in Tokyo, right?”

“ _Yeah, but I have some promo stuff. They’re not letting me go until the end of the week so they’ve checked me into a hotel. You can wait until Sunday, can’t you?_ ”

“No, I actually can’t,” Hinata had replied, knowing all too well he’d sounded like a stubborn child. “It’s been three months since I last saw you. I miss you and I want to see you now or I’ll end up doubting your entire existence.”

There had been a moment of stifling silence on Kageyama’s end. “ _Dumbass,_ ” he’d eventually sighed, but his voice had been warm and gentle and Hinata’s heart had legitimately skipped a beat. “ _Alright, fine. I’ll have one of my managers send a car for you._ ”

Hinata had frowned at that. “Why do you have to send a car? I can just take the subway or get a taxi, you know – just tell me where you’re staying.”

“ _I’ll send a car,_ ” Kageyama had repeated in a firm tone that implied the discussion was over before it had even started.

Hinata had accepted the offer without arguing because he knew what else Kageyama implied. _I don’t trust random people on the subway and I don’t trust taxi drivers_. Which in turn implied, _You’ll be recognized and whatever you do or say will become gossip_.

Hinata slowly twirls the coffee cup around on its saucer. They’re well past the point of gossip, though. Their relationship has been out in the open for more than nine months now, pretty much from the very start, and the buzz surrounding them has yet to die down. Kageyama’s management itself is quite liberal when it comes to their actors dating, but Hinata knows that it doesn’t really matter. Kageyama is still immensely popular and the majority of people don’t care what he does as long as he keeps acting in their favorite dramas. There’s not a single entertainment company in Tokyo that would hesitate picking him up should his current company decide to drop him, which they won’t.

Their relationship has sparked a bit of controversy, though, which is inevitable. Firstly, they’re both guys, and secondly, Hinata is a painfully ordinary person. He’s not famous or glamorous in the least. There are plenty of hardcore Kageyama fans out there treating their romance like it’s some kind of outrageous scandal, and sadly it’s this minority that tends to be visible and vocal. They talk about it all the time, especially online. But that’s a whole different problem. That’s more directed towards Hinata anyway and not something he wants to worry Kageyama with.

 _This is nice_.

He keeps meaning to say it but instead he ends up saying something completely different.

“This isn’t easy.”

“Huh?” Kageyama looks up at him, his dark blue eyes almost black in the shadows of his baseball cap.

Hinata sighs and stares into the depths of his coffee, which has turned cold by now. He’s so happy, he genuinely is, but at the same time he feels so restricted and alone. This is his first serious relationship and of course he had to end up in a fairytale nightmare like this, where the actual Prince is a dream but where the world keeps interrupting them. He has to worry about his inadequacy and his inexperience and his entire self all the damn time. He tries to stay positive in case the universe is listening in and decides to screw him over, but he can’t help but worry over their highly unusual relationship.

“You’re so stupid,” Hinata mutters, not really knowing what else to say.

Kageyama scowls at him. “If you stopped talking in codes and told me what’s bothering you then maybe even an idiot like me would understand,” he says sourly.

Hinata bites his lip and can’t help but smile a little, his annoyance fading. Because he’s tall, dark, handsome, and borderline intimidating, Kageyama tends to be typecast accordingly in dramas and films. When he gets offended in real life, however, he’s more cute than scary. There’s just something about his crossed arms and slight pout that makes Hinata melt. He shakes his head, trying not to get too sidetracked.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to get used to this, you know? It’s weird knowing that I never really have you to myself and I’m not sure how to act when we’re together in public. Like, I wanted to jump you the minute I saw you earlier but I didn’t even think a hug would be appropriate. It’s just difficult sometimes.”

Kageyama leans back in his chair and fixes his cap a little, leaving a clearer view of his eyes. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I know this situation isn’t fair on you and I know I can be difficult to deal with… I’d have no idea what to do if I were you.” He pauses, his ears blushing a deep shade of red. “And just so you know… I wanted to jump you, too.”

There’s a moment of silence before a bubble of laughter escapes Hinata’s throat in a loud snort. “Oh my God, Tobio,” he giggles. “How are you so bad at this? Are you even capable of delivering your lines on set?”

“Don’t laugh, you jerk!” Kageyama’s ears turn an even deeper shade of impossible red. “This has nothing to do with my acting.”

Hinata is beaming. He can hardly believe that this is his boyfriend. Kageyama Tobio, one of the most promising rising stars under thirty, the model and actor who plays the lead in the most popular drama on TV, who plays the lead in the latest upcoming feature film, and whose face is displayed on billboards all over Tokyo because he recently became a brand ambassador. With time he’ll probably end up becoming an international superstar but right now he’s sitting in front of him, all cute and awkward and ordinary, and it seems way too good to be true.

“Shouyou, I was wondering…” Kageyama straightens up. His glare makes him look somewhat angry but Hinata has learned to read the nuances in his expressions. This is actually how he looks when he’s embarrassed or bothered. “I’ve been invited to an award show about a month from now… It’s not a big deal and I’m not nominated or anything but, you know. Management thinks I should at least show my face.” He rubs the back of his neck and now he looks positively pained. “So… I was wondering… if you maybe wanted to come with me?”

The question is such a stark contrast to the Kageyama he spoke to on the phone this morning that Hinata has to take a second to process.

“You – you want me to be your date? Like… at a real public event? Where everyone will see us together and… and everything?”

Kageyama nods in a slow way that makes it look like he doubts his own understanding of what an award show is. “Yeah…? I mean, only if you want to,” he adds quickly. “I’m sure it’ll be pretty boring but I thought I’d ask just in case –”

“I’d love to.”

Kageyama blinks at his immediate response. “For real?”

Hinata knows that this will be both a public date and an opportunity. He hasn’t told Kageyama about all the hate that’s been posted all over social media lately. He hasn’t admitted that he still lurks these sites, mostly because he promised that he wouldn’t, but also because it gives him some sort of perverse satisfaction knowing that there are people out there who hates him so intensely for having something they can’t have. He hasn’t told him that the popular belief among these people seems to be that he’s somehow corrupted and manipulated Kageyama into a relationship.

But maybe now that Kageyama actually wants to do something together rather than sneaking around (which it turns out they are exceptionally bad at), he’ll get to show people that this is genuine. Hinata is serious, he’s not going to disappear, there’s no one out there who can beat him, and he’s going to show everyone that. Maybe he can somehow claim his amazing boyfriend for himself, once and for all.

Oddly invigorated, Hinata nods and smiles brightly. “Yes, for real! I’d love to go with you, Tobio, more than anything.”

 _This is nice,_ he thinks again, but he still can’t find it in him to say it.

 

**

 

On the evening of the award show, Hinata checks himself out in the mirror and actually thinks he looks pretty good. Two weeks earlier he had asked Natsu to help him decide what to wear, and with no hesitation she had suggested a grey suit.

“You’re a redhead, nii-chan,” she’d said seriously, waving a pointed finger at him. “In my opinion a black suit is just going to make you stand out way too much.”

“Yeah… I guess I don’t wanna outshine Tobio or anything.”

“That’s not possible, but I know what you mean.”

Natsu’s snide comments aside, the grey suit definitely tones him down a little, but not in a bad way. His shirt is a very pale blue and he’s dropped the tie so he won’t look too formal, again at his little sister’s suggestion. The patent leather shoes are borrowed from a good friend and he’s also done his best to tame his hair. It’s only a partial success but he supposes it adds something to the overall charm. He looks like someone who’s there to fully support his successful boyfriend, which is more or less the look he was aiming for.

Kageyama picks him up at six like they’re going on a proper date and Hinata literally has to catch his breath when he opens the door. He’s seen countless pictures of him in formal attire before but it’s definitely something else seeing him standing there in the flesh. He’s positively shining in his sleek black designer suit, his bangs are slightly parted to one side, he somehow appears to be even taller (which is extremely annoying), and his thin burgundy tie looks like something that should be grabbed in order to pull him closer. Whoever styled him is a genius.

“You gonna let me in or not?”

“Oh!” Hinata realizes he’s just been gaping at him this whole time. “Uh, sure.”

The door has barely closed behind them when Kageyama grabs him by the shoulders and kisses him fiercely, right there in the genkan. “I definitely don’t regret inviting you,” he mutters against his lips. “You look amazing.”

Hinata manages a faint laugh, momentarily weakened by how intoxicatingly good Kageyama smells. “Have you seen yourself at all?”

“Let’s just stay here. Fuck that stupid show.”

Kageyama kisses him again and the way he insistently follows when Hinata tries to pull away coaxes an embarrassingly loud moan from his throat. In the end he has to reluctantly grab a fistful of his jacket and give him a slight shove to make him stop.

“You’re gonna seem arrogant if you don’t show up.”

“Damnit.” Kageyama sighs through his nose, annoyed. “I hate it when you’re like that.”

“Like what?”

“Right.”

 

**

 

It’s not until their car pulls up outside the venue and the size of the crowd becomes a reality that Hinata actually gets nervous. There’s a red carpet, a press area, a barrier for the fans, and everything is just like he’s seen in award shows and movie premieres on TV. Kageyama obviously has a completely different view of what a “big deal” is when it comes to these things. Stupid Kageyama.

“So what do I do?” Hinata asks tensely while they wait for the chauffeur to open the door for them. He catches himself wishing he’d gone one more time to the bathroom before they left.

“Just hang back with my managers until I’m done here.”

Kageyama has arrived at these events numerous times before and it already shows as they’re stepping out of the car. Where Kageyama is all sorts of infuriatingly cool and graceful, Hinata sort of stumbles out of his seat. He remains lagging a step behind because he doesn’t want to awkward jog in order to keep up with Kageyama’s long strides. He’s not even really sure where to look; he definitely doesn’t dare looking at all the cameras and he has no business staring at all the other major and minor celebrities, so he mostly looks down at the bright red carpet. He had half hoped that Kageyama would hold his hand but that’s maybe too much to ask for.

The press photographers are all calling Kageyama’s name, asking him to look this way and that, and it doesn’t take long before they’re deliberately separated. Kageyama goes off to do his red carpet thing while Hinata tries to retreat as much as he can into the anonymity behind the managers and stylists. He doesn’t want to be in the way and he definitely doesn’t want to attract any unnecessary attention. So far, so good – Kageyama has easily enchanted everyone anyway.

As awkward and overwhelming as it is, it’s kind of exhilarating to be able to attend this event. It’s a chaotic and feverish blur, but it’s a fairytale nonetheless. Once again Hinata can’t believe that the gorgeous person he came with is his boyfriend.

“You don’t deserve him!”

He barely even registers the first comment. The words are hardly distinguishable from the rest of the crowd, but something about the tone of the voice is enough for Hinata to glance over his shoulder. He sees nothing but a sea of fans waiting for Kageyama to eventually make his way towards the barrier for autographs and selfies, so he mentally shrugs it off as nothing and turns back around.

“Hinata Shouyou, leave him alone!”

This time he unmistakably hears his own name. It’s an unfamiliar voice, maybe two, but they’re definitely shouting loud enough for him to hear. When he realizes what they’re actually saying, Hinata feels himself go cold and then hot in a matter of seconds. The warmth races up his spine and settles somewhere high in his chest, making it slightly harder for him to breathe. He doesn’t turn around this time; he just tries to act like nothing while straining to hear over the sound of his own beating heart.

“You corrupted him! Leave him alone!”

Those words are all too familiar; he’s read them on the Internet in the shape of lies and rumors. They always seemed less serious online, though – exaggerated in a way. But the kind of people who write these things do exist and some of them, he has no idea how many, are right there, just a few meters away. That makes it all the more real. Hinata dares another glance over his shoulder, tries to quickly filter out the accusing voice in the crowd of unknown faces, but they’re all just a mass of greys and blacks.

“He’s too good for you! You’re a nobody!”

More people seem to be aware of the faceless voices now. A couple of fans up at the front are throwing curious glances his way, a few others are craning their necks and looking around. Others again are directing their phone cameras away from Kageyama and aiming them at Hinata instead. Beads of sweat are popping up on his forehead and on the ridge of his nose, and his shirt suddenly feels several sizes too small. Kageyama is taking forever, he isn’t even aware of what’s going on, and Hinata has no idea what to do. All he knows is that he wants to get away from there as soon as possible – he just can’t seem to move.

Someone grabs him by the arm and a jolt of panic and fear shoots through him. He whirls around and registers that one of Kageyama’s managers has taken a hold of him before he finds himself half-dragged, half-ushered away.

“Damn Kageyama and his terrible judgment!” the manager mutters under his breath, looking distressed. “He can be such an idiot!” He glances at Hinata, who has paled into an ashen grey. “Are you okay?”

He nods jerkily. “I… I think so… Did you – did you hear any of that?”

The manager sighs. “Kageyama has many loyal fans, some more devoted than others. They’re mostly well behaved but they can get a little intense sometimes. I’m sorry you had to experience that,” he adds, and he genuinely looks like it, too. “We tried to explain to Kageyama that it’s too soon to be doing a stunt like this, but of course he tends to follow his own rules.”

“Maybe I should –” Hinata gestures in direction of the red carpet but the thought of going back there makes his stomach churn. He presses his lips shut, afraid he might suddenly puke.

The manager shakes his head firmly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Hinata-san. I suggest you go home instead. I can arrange for a car to drive you. Would you like that?”

Hinata pretends to think it over but he’s wound so tightly with anxiety and humiliation right now that he’s basically out of there already. He’s too shaken to act naturally. There’s no way he can stay.

“Could you please let Tobio know? And… tell him that I’m sorry?”

He receives a nod and sympathetic smile in response.

“Alright…” He shrugs helplessly, feeling like a dog running away with its tail between its legs. “I guess I’ll go home then.”

 

**

 

It’s close to 2 a.m. when Kageyama finally shows up. Hinata has long since replaced his grey suit with a pair of old shorts and an oversized t-shirt, and he’s been following a live stream of the award show ever since he got back. He’s been checking social media as well, obsessively reading a bunch of posts about himself, some of them expressing sympathy on his behalf but most of them talking shit. Next to these posts he’s seen a few close-ups of Kageyama, who’s looked nothing short of furious all night, although Hinata knows what that expression really means: he’s been miserable.

Standing outside his door now, he appears to be even more dejected. His bangs have limply fallen into their usual place, he has loosened his tie and unbuttoned his cuffs, and he isn’t even wearing his jacket anymore.

“Hey,” he says quietly, sounding just as tired as he looks.

“Hi.” Hinata steps aside. “Please come in.”

He follows Kageyama into the apartment, watching his broad shoulders slump underneath his white shirt. He’s practically itching to hug him but something awkward and hesitant has also made it through the door and it keeps him from doing anything.

“I’m sorry I’m so late.” Kageyama sits heavily down on Hinata’s bed. “Management gave me a bit of a scolding after the show.”

“So… you heard about what happened?”

“Yeah…” He groans and drags his hands across his face, his voice muffled against his palms. “I’m so sorry, Shouyou. I really didn’t think this one through.”

“Hey, I’m fine.” Hinata sits down next to him and pulls his knees up, wrapping his arms around his legs instead of wrapping them tightly around Kageyama’s waist. “You couldn’t have known it would turn out this way. Don’t worry about it.”

Kageyama lets his arms drop and spots the open laptop at the foot of the bed. “What’ve you been watching?”

“Just a live stream of the award show…” Hinata bites his lip, unsure of how to continue. It’s obvious that he has plenty of tabs open and it’ll look suspicious if he slams the laptop shut now. “I’ve… also been checking social media.”

Kageyama stares at him for a second before he closes his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. “I told you not to look at those sites. Paying too much attention to them is seriously gonna mess with your head.”

“It’s not like I can help it,” Hinata mutters, resting his chin on top of his knees. “It’s me they’re talking about after all.”

There’s a moment of silence that doesn’t feel as comfortable as it should. Hinata remains in the same balled-up position and Kageyama plays absently with a loose thread in his shirtsleeve.

“Do you remember the day we first met?” Kageyama asks after a while. “At the airport?”

“Where did that question come from all of a sudden?” Hinata laughs a little. “Of course I remember. I accidentally spilled a Venti iced tea on one of Japan’s most beloved young actors. Kinda hard to forget. Still gives me nightmares honestly.”

“I didn’t have time to change my shirt because we were just about to board…”

“…and then I realized we were actually on the same flight.” He presses his forehead against his knees and groans at the memory. “God, I was mortified. And when we got to Osaka you came running after me! With that glare of yours! I thought you were gonna kick my ass.”

“Yeah, well.” Kageyama shrugs one shoulder and grins. “I knew you were sitting back there in coach and I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you the entire trip. People rarely have that effect on me so obviously I had to give it a shot, just to see if there was anything worth chasing.” He pauses thoughtfully, still fiddling with the loose threat in his sleeve. “I guess I came off as a bit aggressive but I always thought I made a pretty good call that day.”

The oppressive hesitation that followed them earlier has come back full force, thickening the air around them. When Kageyama speaks again his voice is so quiet that Hinata somehow knows he’s going to have his heart broken in a few minutes. He doesn’t even dare look at him in fear of crying.

“It’s just, the thing about us is… Like, I knew you were struggling but I never really knew you had to take all this crap. I never imagined my fans would be so against this whole thing. You told me it wasn’t easy but because I’m an idiot I kept taking it lightly. I feel like I’m putting you through so much unnecessary grief just by existing.”

Hinata hugs his knees tighter. He’s afraid he’ll float away if he doesn’t. “But there is no grief,” he says, his voice nothing but a whisper. “I’m happy when I’m with you, Tobio. I’m glad you exist.”

“I’m happy, too, but I’m worried. For your safety, most of all. I don’t want anything to happen to you because of me.”

Hinata agrees, kind of. He is also scared for his safety, but his kind of safety is obviously different from the one Kageyama is talking about. As far as he’s concerned his safety is sitting right next to him, and at the moment he’s slipping further and further away.

“So… what do you mean?” he asks, trying to keep his voice from trembling. _Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say._

“I mean… that maybe we rushed into this relationship. Maybe – maybe we’re not such a good idea, the way things are at this point.”

Hinata finally looks over at him. Kageyama is looking down at his hands, which have been balled into fists, and he can tell he’s really struggling to keep it together. The anxiousness Hinata had a taste of earlier tonight is nothing compared to what he’s feeling now. There’s a sensation in the very pit of his stomach, a faint surge that makes it feel like he’s constantly falling. His heart is beating loud and hard in his ears, so hard it almost makes him lightheaded.

“You’re ending this.” He hates how he’s looking for confirmation rather than actually asking a question. “That’s what you’re saying.”

“I… I don’t know what I’m saying.” Kageyama squeezes his eyes shut as though he’s in physical pain. “I think we should at least take a break from each other. Until this whole thing passes.”

Hinata knows what a ‘break’ means in the celebrity world. Either things end forever or you find yourself trapped in the limbo of an off-and-on relationship that brings nothing but misery. They’re already on a break anyway. They’ve been on a break for the entire nine months they’ve been together; it’s just that Kageyama doesn’t get it because he’s not the one who sits around waiting all the time. In the end, the only thing that’s going to ‘pass’ is their relationship.

“So that’s it then? We’re just gonna let them win?”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Kageyama frowns. “It’s not a competition.”

“But it feels like that to me. Maybe you can’t tell because you’re as oblivious as ever and I’m the only one competing. Seems to me like you care more about what your fans think than me.”

“Damnit, Shouyou!” Kageyama raises his voice and Hinata winces a little. “Do you think this is easy for me? You have no fucking idea what it’s like, do you? I’m just trying to protect you!”

“Well, you suck at it so don’t!”

Hinata feels like a glass of water that’s so full it keeps overflowing. Maybe it’s simply a combination of everything – all the hate he’s gotten over the last twelve hours alone, the new anxiety that has taken root in him, the stifling feeling of resignation that has settled everywhere in the apartment, and frustration over the fact that Kageyama seems to have made up his mind already. Or maybe it’s just his broken heart that’s talking.

“Maybe you didn’t make such a good call that day after all,” Hinata whispers, and he hates himself for even saying it. He hates how it sounds and he hates the way Kageyama’s voice cracks when he replies.

“Yeah, maybe not.” He wearily gets up without looking in his direction, but Hinata can still feel a palpable mix of anger and hurt coming from him. “See you around, Shouyou.”

 

**

 

For the next three months Hinata does see Kageyama around quite often, except it’s just on billboards, posters, and TV. He always changes the channel or looks another way, so he only sees him in short flashes and fragments. Kageyama is the face that flickers behind the passing subway train, the person who momentarily appears in between the news.

Hinata says yes to a bigger workload, heads out late in the evening only to either run or grocery shop, and goes to bed early. The first few weeks pass by like that, in a steady routine of isolation and quiet. He feels a bit like the thin walls of his apartment; his only existence is in a bubble of muffled sounds that have nothing to do with him. He’s listening in but not paying any attention.

Luckily, he has a few good friends he can trust and count on. Izumi and Kouji never fail to cheer him up or drag him outside, Kenma basically always has time for him, and Natsu visits him as frequently as she can between classes. Even his next-door neighbor, a kind woman with two small kids and the world’s happiest Shiba Inu, makes sure to look after him. She often stops by with a meal every now and then and Hinata suspects that she watches Kageyama’s dramas religiously and therefore knows a thing or two about his personal life. However, her care is genuinely pure and void of any agenda, and Hinata is both touched and grateful.

But the situation is what it is. Time insists on passing him by and Hinata finds that the world waits for no one. Life simply goes on.

 

**

 

“Did you read the latest magazine feature on Tobio, nii-chan?”

Hinata stops stirring his cappuccino for the first time since he and Natsu arrived at this tiny café for their lunch date. The foam is all gone now, so is the fancy latte art, and he hasn’t even tasted it yet. He looks up at his sister with an irritated sigh.

“Really, Natsu? Are you actually gonna go there?”

“Did you know he used to play volleyball in high school?” she continues unperturbed, pretending not to notice him glaring daggers at her from across the table. “His position was setter and apparently he was so good at it he probably would have pursued it as a career if he hadn’t gotten into acting. Pretty cool, right? He didn’t want to comment on his private life in this interview, though, and because I was super curious I wanted to ask nii-chan about it! So, tell me – what’s up with you and Tobio these days?”

Natsu leans forward expectantly, chin in hand, and looks at him with a feigned innocent smile. Her bright orange hair has turned a deeper shade of red over the years and it’s been a while since she outgrew her unruly pigtails, but her big brown eyes are still as insistent and inquisitive as they were when she was ten. Hinata knows this is her attempt at bringing up this heavy issue in a lighthearted way; being allowed to tease him about everything is her privilege as a little sister. Even though he can’t believe the cheek of this girl sometimes, he’s infinitely grateful towards her. There’s no one else like Natsu that he can confide in.

“What do you mean ‘what’s up’?” he replies evasively. “It is what it is: nothing new.”

“But you can’t just give up on this! I thought he said it was just a break?”

“I already told you; it was more of a break _up._ ” Hinata sighs, frowning at his untouched and cold cappuccino. “Tobio totally overreacted to the whole thing! Sure, it was an uncomfortable situation but it’s not like I was assaulted.”

“Except you kind of were. Verbal assault is still assault. Plus, I highly doubt he has the same perspective as you. _You_ would blame _them_ if the situation escalated and something really happened, but Tobio would blame _himself_ , no matter what. He knows the consequences of his own life much better than you do. You got to take part in it for a while but he’s lived it since he was a teenager.”

Hinata stares at her for a second, a little dumbfounded. “Since when did you become so well-articulate and smart? Are we even related?”

“I’m a girl! I’m smarter than you by default.”

“Oi, I’m six years older than you, that means I’m in the lead with six more years of wisdom. You’ve just barely turned twenty!”

“Whatever.” Natsu shoots him an overbearing smile that says she finds herself above this kind of bickering. “Point is, I’m not defending either of you. You guys acted on emotions, got mad at each other, and didn’t properly talk things through. That’s the problem.”

“I know, Nacchan, I have all kinds of regrets.” Hinata hides his face in his hands and groans. “I miss him a lot.”

“I can tell.” His sister’s expression softens and for a moment she looks genuinely heartbroken for him. “I guess I just want you to reconsider everything one more time. I don’t think it was easy for Tobio to make that decision at all. He may have overreacted but put yourself in his shoes: if anything happened to him because of you, wouldn’t you be completely devastated? This is a situation he can’t control and it scares him. He probably thinks you’re at a much bigger risk than he is, which is true, and because of his busy lifestyle he can’t always be there to protect you. You get it, right? It’s not that he wanted to please the fans. He sacrificed what he wanted for the greater good because in the end, it meant that you’d be safe. Tobio removed himself from the equation.”

“I can take care of myself,” Hinata mutters, but he knows she’s perfectly right. He gets it. It hurts knowing that it didn’t have to be this way, that this could all have been avoided easily.

“Of course you do, nii-chan.” Natsu smiles warmly. “But it’s a natural thing, don’t you think? Wanting to protect the ones you love? Sometimes we’re just being real clumsy about it.”

 

**

 

Come December, Hinata’s company schedules for him to go to Osaka for a three-day seminar. Even though it’s only for a short while, Hinata welcomes the change of scenery. As much as he enjoys the comfort and freedom of working from home, his personality is fundamentally a social one. Making new friends and connections comes naturally to him and he enjoys interacting with people. It’ll be nice to get out of Tokyo for a bit and besides, he likes Osaka.

On departure day he checks in at the airport in uncharacteristically good time. It’s too early to wait at the gate so he heads off to the nearest coffee shop. He briefly considers ordering an iced tea but decides against it and opts for a small coffee instead. He’s just getting his order when the person behind him in line speaks up.

“It’ll hurt like hell if you spill that one on me.”

Hinata recognizes the voice almost immediately. Startled, he turns around and finds Kageyama standing there, like he’s materialized out of nowhere. He’s effortlessly casual in his jeans and cardigan combination, and even though only his eyes are visible above his face mask he still looks good.

“Tobio…”

After three months it’s a bit of a shock to see him so suddenly and Hinata’s heart jumps into a somersault of nervousness and anticipation.

“Thought I spotted your hair. Had to double-check that it really was you.” Kageyama’s blue eyes crinkle slightly as they narrow into a smile. “It’s been a while.”

“What’re you doing here?” Hinata asks, and there’s a split second where he catches himself half hoping that he’s headed to Osaka as well.

“Sapporo again. And you?”

“Osaka. I have a job seminar.”

Kageyama hesitates, awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to another. “Would you mind if… I join you for a coffee?”

Hinata tightly clutches the strap of his bag as his heart skips another beat. “Not at all.”

Kageyama lets his entourage know that he wants to be left alone for a little while and they manage to find a free table in a corner. He pulls his mask off and Hinata can’t help but steal several glances across the table. After seeing him almost exclusively on various posters and billboards for so long, he realizes now more than ever that the real and unedited version of Kageyama is the most stunning one by far.

“So – how’ve you been?” Hinata asks, mostly just to have something to say.

“Fine. Just a bit under the weather. The last few months have been… busy.”

On closer inspection, Kageyama actually looks rather tired. There’s a faint shade of darkish blue under his eyes and the tip of his nose is ever so slightly pink, the remaining hints of a head cold.

“Yeah…” Hinata picks at the lid of his scalding hot coffee-to-go. “I’ve been kinda busy, too.”

Kageyama bites his lip and stares at the travelers passing by the café window, some of them hurrying off to their next destination, others taking the time to stop and browse the tax-free shops.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” he eventually says. “And I’ve realized that I have an awful personality.”

“Tobio, you don’t have to –”

“I’ve been a bit of a jerk,” Kageyama continues, interrupting him, and Hinata immediately falls silent at the unsteadiness in his voice. He is still staring out the window but his eyes seem to be fixed on a point that only he can see. His hands, which are resting on the tabletop, are clenched so tightly his knuckles are whitening. The rest of his words come rushing out like he’s been carrying them around for a long time.

“I acted like it was all up to me. I never let you have a say in the matter and I regret that. Most of all I regret that I didn’t decide to stay and fight for what I wanted. I got scared, I panicked and thought I was doing the right thing, that I was being really noble or some shit, but instead I let them win, just like you said. I’m so sorry and I understand if everything that’s happened has ruined things for us.”

Silence falls between them and for a few long seconds there’s only the muffled hum of the café and the endless stream of travelers passing by outside. It’s like time has completely stopped with Kageyama’s apology suspended in the air between them. He still hasn’t looked away from the window but he’s clearly bracing himself for a response, his brows knitted into a worried frown and his jaws tense.

“I… have to catch my plane soon,” Hinata eventually says quietly. “And that’s a fact.”

Kageyama closes his eyes, resignation and defeat evident on his face. He exhales slowly and nods twice, jerkily.

“Another fact…” Hinata continues, struggling to keep his voice even, “is that I’ve also been a bit of a jerk. I wrongly assumed that you made an easy decision, I didn’t try to understand where you were coming from, and for that I’m sorry. I regret us having this stupid argument so much, Tobio. Because I’ve missed you. Terribly.”

Kageyama snaps his gaze away from the window so comically fast that Hinata can’t help but giggle. 

“Do you… do you really mean that, Shouyou?”

The question triggers the tears Hinata has been trying to hold back. He quickly fumbles for a wad of napkins, a bit embarrassed at the fact that he’s sitting there crying in an airport café. He manages a grin and nods. “You’re obviously not the only one with a bad personality. We’re both huge idiots.”

Kageyama is still staring at him, looking torn between doubt and euphoria, before his face finally breaks into a smile. It’s the rare but genuine one, the one that brings out the single dimple in his left cheek and that truly makes his blue eyes sparkle. He reaches across the table and carefully brushes his thumb over Hinata’s cheekbone, erasing the last of his tears.

“All the more reason to stick together then, I guess.”

 

**

 

Juggling two handfuls of plastic bags, Hinata moves quickly through the crowded streets, sometimes breaking into an excited skip-run that makes people look after him with a wondering frown. The unexpectedly heavy snowfall last night blanketed Tokyo in record time, turning the greater metropolitan area into a winter wonderland of faded neon and city lights. A few large scattered snowflakes are still falling from the darkened sky, melting against the soggy streets, and the Christmas decorations lights up the droplets stuck in Hinata’s hair.

It’s December 22nd: Kageyama’s birthday.

Kageyama lives in Omotesandou in a spacious top floor apartment with a beautiful view. The building itself looks a bit old-fashioned at first glance and is heavy with greenery, complementing the zelkova trees lined up along the street outside. Omotesandou in general is a bit too expensive for Hinata’s tastes but he really likes spending time at Kageyama’s place. While the interior design is airy and minimalist, a complete contrast to the exterior, it’s definitely luxurious enough to comfortably longue around in and more so.

The avenue looks incredible adorned in Christmas lights and Hinata has to stop for a moment to marvel at the icy blue chains of illumination stretching from branch to branch. He snaps a quick picture of the beautiful trees, captions it with ‘ _I’m here!!!_ ’, and sends it to Kageyama. He grins when a reply ticks in only few seconds later saying ‘ _Then come up, dumbass_ ’.

“Happy birthday!” Hinata says in a singsong voice as soon as the door opens for him.

He can’t help but savor the small, embarrassed smile and the pink roses that immediately blossom on Kageyama’s cheeks. It’s such a good expression and he is extremely pleased that this is a side of his boyfriend that only he gets to see.

He shoves one of the bags he’s carrying at Kageyama and makes his way inside. “I brought pork curry!”

“Take-out?” Kageyama peers into the bag and then frowns curiously at all the carefully sealed plastic containers. “From which shop are these? It smells real good…”

“They’re not from a shop, actually! Earlier this week I asked my Mom if she wanted to come to Tokyo for a visit and if she’d mind making a batch of curry especially for you while she was here. She made it this evening, like, right before she left for home, so it’s super fresh. She sends you her best wishes.”

Kageyama looks up, practically sparkling. “You know I love your Mom’s pork curry.”

“Of course I do!” Hinata laughs as he shrugs off his jacket and toes off his shoes. “To snatch a man’s heart you gotta start with his stomach, you know.”

“Consider my heart properly snatched then, as if it wasn’t already. And your Mom didn’t mind coming all the way from Miyagi just to make curry?”

“Nah, she was happy to. She loves you a lot; thinks you’re the perfect gentleman.”

“I’ll have to send her some flowers as thanks,” Kageyama says thoughtfully and leaves the food on the kitchen counter.

“See? You’re such a natural charmer for those who don’t know about your foul mouth and your murderous glare. Oh, and I also got you this!” Hinata rummages around in his other bag and digs out a small cardboard box. “Happy birthday, Tobio!”

“Cake, too?”

“Yeah!” Hinata beams. “What’s a birthday without cake?”

He’s grinning but feeling increasingly nervous while Kageyama struggles with the sticker on the lid. By the time he’s finally opened the box his grin has faded and his limbs have gone numb with anticipation. He stares tensely at Kageyama who in turn is staring into the box, and a good five seconds pass before he seems to realize what is actually written on the cake. Kageyama’s eyes widen and his mouth drops slightly open. He attempts to speak a number of times before he manages to make a sound and Hinata doesn’t dare say anything to help him; he just stands there, waiting, his hands wrung together anxiously.

“M –‘Marry me’…?” Kageyama reads the words slowly, nothing but a whisper, before he looks up, stunned. “Are you… really…?”

Hinata shrugs one shoulder, trying to ignore how much he’s suddenly sweating and how his heart is literally beating its way out of his chest.

“I guess there are some legal issues and stuff for us, but hey – it doesn’t stop anyone from getting engaged. And I could have written all kinds of other things on this cake, like ‘Forever’ or ‘Be mine’ or ‘Stay by my side’, but all of that comes back to this in the end. I just wanted to get straight to the point.” He smiles timidly. “So… what do you say?”

For a moment it looks like Kageyama has turned into stone; he hasn’t moved a single muscle for several seconds and his eyes are about to pop right out of his skull. Then he abruptly covers the short distance between them in one long stride and pulls Hinata into a bone-crushing hug.

“Shouyou, I –” He bends down properly and buries his face into the crook of his neck, exhaling shakily against his skin.

Hinata laughs breathlessly and manages to reach around his shoulders and pat him on the back. “Are you crying?”

There’s a moment of silence and then a sniffle, followed by: “Shut up, dumbass.”

Hinata leans back and looks at him, smiling a little at the teardrops clinging to his lashes. He cups his face in his hands and rubs his thumbs over his cheeks before leaning in to kiss him tenderly.

“So is that a –?”

“Yes,” Kageyama mutters against his lips.

Curry and cake completely forgotten, he somehow manages to blindly steer them both in direction of the bedroom. They bump into a couple of chairs and corners on the way before Hinata can let himself fall back onto the bed. He’s determined to drag Kageyama with him so he holds on tight and together they land clumsily against the pillows. Hinata half laughs, half moans at the heavy weight pressing him firmly into the mattress and he immediately starts fumbling to remove Kageyama’s t-shirt.

The shirt is barely off before Kageyama pulls insistently at Hinata’s pants and boxers, making him buck his hips out of reflex and slight frustration. Their lips constantly connect and disconnect in small kisses while they impatiently undress each other, their hands roaming everywhere, and soon their clothes are discarded in a halfhearted heap at the foot of the bed.

Kageyama hesitates for a moment, hovering above him and giving him a look that is an odd mix of worship and wonder. The gleam of the festive street lights cuts through the window, illuminating the beautiful almond curve of his eyelids and the perfect arch of his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” Hinata looks up at him. “It’s not like this is our first time or anything.”

“No, I know. It just… feels a little different this time.”

“Yeah, it does.” Hinata smiles in agreement. “But _good_ different, right?” He reaches up and caresses the sides of Kageyama’s neck, his palms warm against his already damp skin. “It’s okay. Now come on.”

Kageyama mutters an “alright” and reaches over to the drawer in his nightstand, groping blindly for the lube. Hinata bites his lip and looks on with appreciation as Kageyama prepares him, trying not to give in to the temptation of rocking back against his hand. The feeling of his fingers is familiar and he is moving with confident ease.

After a short while Kageyama leans over him again, steals a kiss, and wordlessly he finds Hinata’s hand and interlaces their fingers. Hinata gives him a nod, squirming impatiently as he lines himself up against him. At the initial push, he can feel himself instinctively go tense but he finds no time to gasp or moan because he receives another kiss almost immediately. His breath is caught high in his chest and his heart hammers against his eardrums. With one arm pressed against the mattress he locks his free arm around Kageyama’s neck and focuses on adjusting and following his movements.

It doesn’t take long before Kageyama’s breath becomes shallow. With his gaze locked intensely on Hinata, he rolls his hips once, slow and deep, and Hinata sucks his breath sharply through his teeth. He’s definitely not tense anymore, he feels overwhelmingly hot, and each and every nerve ending in his body seems to be on fire. Kageyama moves his hands down to his hips, slipping his palms over the smoothness of Hinata’s thighs, and digs his fingers into his skin.

“Go – go slow… Just like that –”

Hinata barely manages to force the words out. He’s practically buzzing but the pressure is so good like this. It’s agonizing in a way that feels amazing.

They’ve settled into a slow pace but Hinata is nearly over-stimulated already. Kageyama’s eyes have hardly left him all this time, and the way he bites down on his lip whenever he manages to extract a moan from him is such a turn-on that it’s almost enough to send him into a frenzy. Hinata clings to his sweaty shoulders, trying to get as physically close to him as possible.

“I… love you,” he whispers. He reaches up to rest his palm against Kageyama’s cheek, watching with a satisfied smile as he immediately leans into his touch, as though out of reflex. “I love you –”

Kageyama takes this confession as a cue to pick up the pace. He starts thrusting into him with earnest, keeping a steady rhythm but going harder and deeper. Hinata cries out every time he hits his spot and there’s hardly any need for him to reach down and touch himself. He barely even registers his orgasm building up in his groin, the sensation spreading, before he’s coming with a shudder and a long drawn moan.

Even though he’s painfully spent and ready to come down, he keeps rocking his hips, urging Kageyama to go on. His bangs are sweaty and plastered across his forehead, his thrusts have become more and more erratic, and his jaw is set firmly. He squeezes his eyes shut and convulsively digs his fingers into Hinata’s hips one last time, and he finally comes with a loud noise that seems caught between a shout and a gasp.

He collapses on top of him and Hinata wraps his arms around his waist and holds him close, both of them breathless. Kageyama rests his forehead heavily against his, seeking out his lips for small, soft kisses.

“I love you, too,” he says.

Even though Hinata can’t properly see it in the semi-darkness, he knows he’s blushing, and he can’t help but giggle. It’s so typical of Kageyama to be bashful in intimate situations; it’s always been easier for him to do things than to say them, even when it comes to this. He carefully rolls off of him and offers an embrace, which Hinata gladly accepts, despite the sweat and stickiness. He scoots closer and leaves a kiss on his damp, exposed neck.

“So – marriage, huh?” Kageyama says thoughtfully.

Hinata feels his stomach flutter at this reminder, and a mix of excitement and panic hits him when he becomes aware of the reality of it. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Marriage.”

“You sure you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?”

Hinata moves so he can look into his eyes and reaches out to brush his fingers through his dark hair. “The rest of my life and eternity, if possible,” he smiles.

Kageyama stares at him, a little amazed, as though he can’t believe his luck, before turning away and looking up at the ceiling. The back of his hand is covering his mouth, something he always does when he thinks Hinata has said or done something exceptionally cute. It’s an adorable gesture and it keeps catching Hinata off-guard.

“I guess you’ll have to move in with me then,” Kageyama mutters awkwardly. “Living separately won’t do if we’re getting married.”

Hinata stills for a second, then pushes himself up his elbows, seeking out his partner’s face in the shadows. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, if you want to. Might as well, right?”

The blue Christmas lights falls across his face, and even though he’s embarrassed and slightly worried, like he always is, he also looks deeply sincere. Hinata laughs and responds by tackle-hugging him as hard as he can into the mattress, which in turn makes Kageyama laugh, and Kageyama laughing is maybe Hinata’s favorite thing in the entire world.

“There’s one more thing I’ve wanted to tell you, Tobio.”

“What?”

He smiles and cuddles up against his chest.

“This is nice.”

**Author's Note:**

> Me: a person who reads a lot of books but who never reaches for the romance genre and who doesn't particularly care much for erotic/sexual scenes  
> Also me: writes this
> 
> Why did I write 8K of something that literally ended with "and then they had sex THE END"...? Funny story, I imagined this for a completely different ship but I'm not that invested in them and I haven't written them before (or read any fics about them, really) and also I don't write fics about real people (I just quietly ship), so there's that. But Kagehina works with just about everything; that's my all time favorite OTP for you. Still doesn't explain why I spent almost a week on this thing though. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! :)
> 
> Feel free to come and talk to me on twitter @[tsun_derei](https://twitter.com/tsun_derei)!


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